Thursday, October 8, 2009

Family First—Ministering to Your Family

In the next 30 minutes, in the United States alone, there will be 29 kids attempting suicide, 57 adolescents will run away, 22 teenage girls will get an abortion and 685 teenagers will use some form of narcotics AND that's only in the next 30 minutes.

And when we hear stats like this as Youth Pastors, our tendency is to get fired up, excited and motivated when it comes to the calling God has placed on our lives...

And we’ll make plans, we’ll write messages, we’ll go back and put new leadership groups together... we’ll increase our workload until there is no time left...

Our tendency work so hard to make sure we’re doing our part as Leaders for the Kingdom, but the fact of the matter is this...

If we fail in leading our family... if we fail as a father, or a spouse... ultimately, we fail at the calling God has placed on our lives.

I have seen too many passionate youth Pastors “sign a blank check” to the church, and totally over commit themselves in ministry.

...committing to do whatever is necessary to get the job done, or whatever necessary to get the numbers up, or whatever necessary to make their Senior Pastor happy. And while this commitment sounds noble and honorable, it is also often very destructive.

And it doesn’t matter if you’re single or you’re married, this mindset in ministry will ultimately devastate your life. It will establish bad habits and commitments that are hard to change. It will be detrimental to your family life.

If you’re single, you will need to set some boundaries that will allow you to make the necessary adjustments for when (and if) you choose to marry and start a family.

For those of you who are married, with or without children, we’re going to look at some tried and true principles in protecting your family while you are in ministry.

1. Schedule Family Time/ Time with Your Spouse (Eph. 5:33)

· With the chaotic schedule of ministry, it is imperative to ensure you have quality time with your family (especially your spouse).

· There is nothing that will turn your family against the ministry and the church faster than having to be #2 day after day.

· Schedule a Date Night every week & date your kids!

2. Include Your Family in Your Ministry

· Find ways for your family to ‘buy in’ to what God has called you to do. (take your kids to football games, find an area of the ministry where your wife can serve and take ownership)

3. Take a Workless Vacation

· Everyone needs undivided attention… especially your family. Get away, turn off your phone, leave the laptop at home, take a nap… relax and enjoy your family.

4. Never Blast Your Leadership

· Learn to protect your children and your spouse from unnecessary negativity regarding the leadership of the church. If you need to vent, find an accountability partner that you can trust.

5. Worship with Your Family (John 4:23-24 & Deut. 12:5)

· Make Family Bible Study/Prayer part of your every day routine.

· Attend Worship Services with your Spouse or Family every weekend… no matter what your schedule looks like or what your responsibilities are during those hours.

6. Learn to Listen (James 1:19)

· If your family life isn’t what it needs to be or if your priorities are starting to slip… your spouse will let you know. Just Listen!

· Increase Accountability: Maintain an openness that allows these kinds of conversations to take place.

7. Remember God’s Priorities for Your Life:

1. Your relationship with God

2. Your relationship with your spouse

3. Your relationship with your children

4. Your vocational ministry


  1. Hey, cuz. I think this applies just as well in my case- as a cell church member /servant/leader, we're all ministers! I got a lot out of this. Thanks!